How can one describe the tapestry of another’s life?
For each of us contributed to the colour and the shape.
To you, the yellow maybe strong
To me, it may be the blue
But knowing that we all were a part of Peter’s life
I guess is all it really takes.
Each of us holds memories
That no matter how we share
No one can take them away from us
For they were our moments
Our feelings, our times with him.
But each of our memories were also his
And he held them all, cherished them all,
Laughed, cried, worried, cared
And they were all woven into the tapestry of his life.
I have only a few things to say about Peter
He was the most nonjudgmental person I knew
The thing that would anger him the most
was when someone would look down their nose at another
less fortunate. Or to ridicule another just to make themselves
feel or look better.
He had a low tolerance for prejudice and an extremely high
tolerance for those in need.
He never for a moment thought he was a better person than
anyone else, especially his children. The door was always
open and a when you needed a friend he was always there.
The story I would like to share is a classic example of Peter’s
personality was a time when we lived in St. Catharines, and
our Sam was headed home to his mom in London after a visit.
I believe Sam was only around 10 or 11 and it was his first
greyhound bus trip on his own. He had to transfer buses in
Hamilton; he was told he had a ½ hr so he ran to the
concession to get something. When he returned to the platform
his bus had left and it was hours before the next one so we
drove there as quickly as we could to be with him, fretting all
the way as to how Sam was feeling. Now this was a Sunday,
and nothing is open in southern Ontario on Sundays. So we
went for a stroll around Hamilton and this fellow I had never
seen before saw us and came hurrying up to catch Pete and
shake his hand. He was all excited to see Pete and went on to
tell him how well things were going for him, running a painting
company etc. After he had gone on his way I asked who he
was. Well, rather flustered that he had to tell me, it turned out
that when Peter had to take the bus to a job he was on, every
morning he would have time to have coffee in the coffee shop
at the bus depot. This was someone down on their luck; Pete
bought him a coffee everyday, visited and left him a few
smokes.
I had never met a person who could hold a secret so well.
Trust me, if you asked him not to tell anyone, he wouldn’t
even tell me and honestly, I tried to get it out of him. The only
secret in our 20 plus years together that I ever found out about
was by accident and there was no reason it should have been
kept from me. About 3 or 4 years ago he phoned me when I
was at my mother’s because he could not find the cheque
book. He told me to never mind when I asked him why.
Well when I got home all he would say was it didn’t matter.
I never thought anymore of it until about 8 months later he left
a package from World Vision laying open on the table. It was
an update about his foster child in Nicaragua. He finally told
me that was why he was looking for the cheque book that day;
he needed a blank cheque to set up the automatic monthly
withdrawal. He was very annoyed I found out because to him
what was the point of doing a good deed if someone knew
about it.
If you ever had the pleasure of catching hell from Peter,
count yourself blessed.
And if he ever really flipped on you, spitting out and frothing
at the mouth, veins popping, swear he was going to hit you,
then take comfort in knowing he really loved you. He always
said the more you love someone the madder they can make
you. So, if you didn’t know this before kids, you now know
he loved you the most.
No, he wasn’t a saint, but those stories are private memories
with a select few. Remember about the secrets.
Finally I would like to translate a few of Pete’s saying for you,
just in case you never knew what they meant.
What are you nuts! Give your head a shake!
meant be careful you aren’t going to do something
you will regret.
What are you? Stupid?
meant what I am seeing is worrying me
I should kick your ass:
meant I don’t know how else to tell you it scares me
when you do that and I don’t want you in trouble
Oh well (and I hated that one)
meant my heart really aches for you and I don’t know
what to do or say to make it better,
please try not to be upset
